Review: Young Hot Guys Try To Bang Young Hot Girl, And Succeed!

Well, that’s the jist of it anyways.  There is also singing.  There is also a theater full of older women in groups (is there a term for a group of older women?)…(oh, apparently the proper term is “bevy of women.”) and younger women on dates with their boyfriends.

Side note: There was a double date sitting in front of us.  They were either early 20s or late teens and the guy had his girlfriend as his lock screen.  ISN’T THAT CUTE?!

So, without further adieu (if I knew the greek word for adieu I’d use it because when in…Greece…shut up), here is my Review for Mamma Mia: I Keep Spelling It With One M.

I don’t really think this is a spoiler because its revealed fairly early in the movie but if you don’t want any of it spoiled before seeing it you should have gone already and stop reading right now.

Okay, now…

What the hell, why is Meryl Streep dead?!  You can’t just kill her off in movies!  It’s what Republicans want!  Damn you!  Anyways…she dead.  But we live life through her daughter and young Meryl Streep who is GORG! (short for gorgeous, if ya’ll didn’t know).

The main thing going into this movie is to know this: The story isn’t important.  If you’re going to see this movie or its story and are going to critique it for how well its written and pacing and all that shit?   Get out.  Right now.  GTFO.  Leave.

Bye Felicia.

This is the equivalent of an action movie.  It’s stupid fun that is supposed to make you smile and tap your foot along with the music and lean over and squeal, “omg I love this song!”  Anyone who shits on it better be shitting on 90% of the action movies that are released because its the SAME-DAMN-THING just for a different audience.

It was fun.  It wasn’t great but it was fun.

Now to my in depth, professional analysis.

  • Why was Preacher in this?  Why didn’t he just use the word of God to make everyone do what he wanted?  Where was Tulip?  I get why the vampire dude wasn’t there whose name escapes me at the moment, too much sun.
    • Also, Preacher’s British?!
  • Young Bill totally looked like Matt Smith.  He also was totally the best young guy and Young Meryl made the wrong choice.
    • I love the internet and all I had to do was GIS “Young Bill” and he was the 6th option.
    • Okay people, Young Bill (no, he has no real name) or Matt Smith – who’d ya rather?
  • I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE THEY KILLED MERYL!
  • I tensed up really bad when I thought they were going to force poor Pierce Brosnan  to sing again.  I nearly groaned.  Thankfully it was just a soft mumble singing.  Nobody needs him belting out a song again.  That…that was bad.
  • Young Colin Firth was SO right on as Colin Firth.  I could remember who the third dad was originally but when the guy started fumbling around through his words I instantly thought, “OMG COLIN FIRTH!”
    • Also he totally was the Colin Firth from that Amanda Bynes movie where he’s her dad but like a British guy type…thing and she goes to meet him and stuff?  I can’t remember the name of it.
    • Young Harry did not return the same GIS result surprise as Young Bill did.
  • There was a baby in the front row.  It started crying as soon as the movie started.  I looked at my wife and glared hoping the mom telepathic connection could reach the person with the baby and tell them to take care of that shit, pronto.  Thankfully it worked and I didn’t hear the baby again.
    • My wife was bothered by a person she claims had “COPD” in the background hacking up their lungs every 30 minutes.  Like dude, drink some water and lay off the popcorn if you can’t stop coughing.
  • I want to live in Greece on a small island too.  Holy shit that must have been a fun movie to film.
    • If they filmed it somewhere else don’t anyone tell me.  Let me live in fantasy land and imagine all of the actors spent months on a Greek Island laughing and dancing and singing.  Pretty people need relaxation too!
  • Cher looked like she could barely walk.  What was up with that?
  • Andy Garcia is Mr Sexy Man.
  • Christine Baranski is amazing, even more so that she simply asks to be in a movie and goes on camera with no script.  All of her lines are done ad-lib and she only plays herself.
  • Because Stellan Skarsgard was in this I kept waiting for the third best Chris to show up.
  • Why does Pierce Brosnan seem so boring in these movies?  It makes you think Meryl chose the wrong dude.  Young Pierce was better though, so maybe okay good yeah now?
  • Holy shit that walk up to the church looks treacherous.

 

It was a fun movie full of fun singing.  My wife even enjoyed it.  I mention this because when we saw the first one she was really upset because she didn’t know what it was and when they started singing like, the third song, she leaned over and said, “I didn’t realize they are going to sing through the whole thing!”

She…she’s not a fan of musicals.  lol.  She liked it though.  So thats good.  That’s equivalent of an extra smirking dinosaur on the scale (get it, scale) of smirking dinosaurs.  I give it 3 out of 5 smirking dinosaurs.  An extra for Mrs liking it and we have an aggregate (I don’t know if I’m using that word properly here, so don’t quote me) of 4 smirking dinosaurs.

I even know a few of the songs!  Even if they were some of the same ones as last time.  Who knew ABBA hasn’t released anything in what…decades?  I’m not looking it up.

MOVIE=GOOD.

Seven more words to make it one-thousand.

2 thoughts on “Review: Young Hot Guys Try To Bang Young Hot Girl, And Succeed!

    • It wasn’t bad at all!
      If you like the songs and go into it without expecting much it’s enjoyable.
      Just don’t think its going to be a ground breaking, oscar worthy movie with a great story. Instead see it what it is, fun nonsense with singing and pretty people =)

      Liked by 1 person

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