After a wicked-fun discussion with the lovely Lady Lazarus in the comments section of my post asking Bruce Willis to just shut up I got an idea that has been done…(googles to check the first page of hits) apparently 324,000 times but the Google machine will only let me look at about a hundred before it starts acting all Nazi like. I wanted to write an appreciation of Ross Geller, brother of Monica Geller, son of Jack and Judy Geller on the fictional (yes its necessary to say its fictional) television show F*R!I#E^N$D”S. (I couldn’t find colored asterisks, shut up).
For those of you who don’t know, Ross is the best character on F*R!I#E^N$D”S. This isn’t a debate. The door is right there. The back button is still in the upper left corner and the close tab button is in the same place. If you can’t handle it, get to steppin.
Ross, of course, didn’t start off as the best character. He started off as a whiny loser goody goody who just ruined everyone’s fun and moped around after Rachel. (This is what original Ross would have looked like if we were doing a Sliding Doors type of deal.) But, thankfully, someone swooped in and made him the nerdy, goofy, awesome sauce dude that he is known and loved today. It is my opinion that if they had not made Ross and Rachel be together in the end they could have done a great spin-off with just Ross. But whatevs, nobody listens to me anyways.
As with everything that has been done repeatedly, over and over again, a whole bunch of times I’ll just make a quick list of why I’m supporting their claim for righteousness.
- Unagi – Not just a Japanese fresh water eel anymore. Let Ross Geller help you achieve enlightenment with Unagi.
- Side Note to Unagi appreciation is when he asked the self defense instructor to help him sneak up on Rachel and Phoebe and attack them together.
- He’s very considerate when making food for other people!
- Excellent at dinosaur mimicry.
- He holds up well when things aren’t going that great for him.
- Not afraid to go out on Halloween as doodie.
- Provides a great slow-clap gif for wide use, which is very meta.
- He knows when there is a time for fun and play and when there is a time to settle down and get to business.
- He’s amazing at flirting.
- But no matter what he can never seem to catch a break.
- So much so that he’s very self aware of it.
- But he was a great friend and big brother.
- He has a great memory too!
- Okay, maybe not that great.
- He knows when to lose it.
- He’s just a regular sex machine.
- Just please, don’t eat his sandwich.
- And he has a great British accent (no gif could be found/conveyed properly as there are no sounds on gifs so it would just be Ross talking so like…shut up.)
Now I could go on and on about the greatness that is Ross Falulah Geller but I think you get the point as to why he is the best. As for me? Right now I need to stop typing.