Way Back: Halloween

Hat tip for the nod to Elvira on the header picture.
I’ve never been a big horror or scary movie fan but I remember seeing her ridiculous movie and not hating it.  I believe I didn’t catch it until it was thrown on TV during the mid 90s as filler stuff on TBS because I just looked it up and it was released in 1988.  I couldn’t tell you a bit about it except the creepy dude at the end.  The flash dance type dealy where she got doused with what…oil or tar?  And her fast talking.

This is just me rambling on about Halloween.  Or, more specifically, Halloween when I went Halloweening to procure candy for consumption.
Has anyone done a calculation on how much a Halloween costume costs and how much candy you get and see if it evens out?  I wonder.
Anyways.  Halloween.  Yeah.

I’m not big on Halloween.  I was never one of the people who loved the decorating (probably because my parents never did) or getting dressed up (those plastic masks were a bitch and those little rubber bands to keep them on your face always snapped).  But I’m always down for some candy.  Mini butterfingers are the best.

I remember seeing Hocus Pocus and Earnest Scared Stupid.  Beetlejuice was always fun to watch as well.  Halloween Halloween Halloween.

I think the lack of actually caring about Halloween is why I don’t have some kind of poem or story to write for it instead.  I just don’t really care.  So why don’t I just treat it like any other day and write something else?  Because!  I didn’t think of that.  And it seemed quietly lazy once I did.  So why not be openly lazy and just write a post about why I don’t really care about Halloween?  Much better.

One memory I do have from Halloween is kind of funny.  Okay probably not but I remember it being funny.
Towards the end of my Halloweening age I didn’t feel like wearing a full on costume (see above: plastic masks, rubber bands holding them on).  So I bought a werewolf mask.  it was neat.  Grey, fully over the head hood type mask.  Hair.  Snarling mouth.  Just neat.  I wore it around our neighborhood.  I must not have been too much older then 10 or 11 though because I think my mom was with us because my little brother would have been about 6.
So I think at one point I took it off and just didn’t go up to the houses and was just standing on the sidewalk (HALLOWEEN!).  Then I put my mask back on to go to another house but turned around and there was a little kid standing there.  He must have been no older than 4.  I can’t remember why I turned around and looked at him but I did.  I didn’t growl or say anything at all that I remember either but I do recall he started crying.  The extent of the tears and crying aren’t recalled (GREAT MEMORY!) but they were there.  I mean, I felt bad.  I wasn’t trying to traumatize the kid.
What sticks out a little more though was when we got back home and my mom was teasing me about it.  How she was laughing that I scared a little kid.  What kind of sadistic mother do I have?!

That was probably the “best” memory I have of Halloween.  There are other ones…you know what?  Why don’t I just do a list.  We all like lists, right?

  • My mom being pulled over by the cops because too many kids were piled into the car and didn’t have enough seat belts.  We were just driving down the road but one of the dumb kids (older brother’s friend) stuck his head out of the sun roof and was being obnoxious.
  • The day after Halloween going to school and seeing all of the scattered candy that was dropped out of bags in the gutter.  It must be what the day after mardi gras looks like in New Orleans…somewhat.
  • My wife, before we were married, being disgusted that in my later years (late teenage, well beyond trick or treating) we would shut off the lights and hide inside on Halloween.  She was surprised we were never egged.
    • She did get me to give out candy one year because her disgust was too much.
  • California Halloween’s are better than most other places because you can do things like go as someone with short sleeves (or, for example, girls can go as tinkerbell) and not worry about it being too cold and have to ruin the costume with sweaters and jeans.
  • The candy dump at the end of the night.
    • Sorting the candy.
      • Good stuff in one pile
      • Garbage stuff in another
    • Looking for those cherished full size bars
    • throwing out any fruit
    • wondering why I have a few dimes
    • cursing the people who gave out cans of soda
    • pencils?  seriously?!
      • I have to say that, and I don’t remember this being a thing in the late 80s and early 90s, but getting chips for Halloween is lame.  Maybe its just me but…come on.

So yeah.  Halloween.  Go uh…go….gadget?  I dunno.  Whatever.


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