Where to stand? In front of the glass that’s half empty or the one that is half full?
Can there be positive outcomes from general failure?
Successes from defeats?
I’m not going to be able to finish the NaNoWriMo challenge. It’s pretty obvious at this point. Having only two days a week to write puts a handcuff on things right from the get-go. I was never able to be even caught up for a single day.
By Saturday I should have 40,000 words and a week from Friday I’ll need to have the full 50,000. I don’t have any delusions of grandeur, because unless I have a quiet room I can hold myself up in for the week it ain’t happening.
And strangely I’m okay with that. Partially because I was always skeptical that I would be able to do it to begin with. Not because I’m not able and can’t stick to it but because I just don’t have an ability in my current life to devote that much time and concentration. When writing, as I’ve mentioned before, I need complete focus. I need to lose myself in what I’m writing and have no distractions around me. That’s just not possible except for a couple of days a week.
So the positives, successes and half full glasses?
I stuck to it. I didn’t give up after being down the first three days and thinking, “oh shit.” I found a direction and started it. I had been thinking of starting this story for literal years. I’ve thought about starting a novel for years. I’ve officially done that now. I have a work in progress novel. I’m attempting to become a writer instead of talking about it and dreaming about it.
I don’t have the near 40,000 words that I should have in two days. Not even close actually. What I do have? 21,000+ words. An outline for the story that gives me a direction. Ideas for each part of the outline. An ending that is thought out and mostly plotted where all I need to do is fill in the blanks.
I may not be able to complete the NaNoWriMo 50,000 words in a month but it did give me the push to start writing something instead of dreaming about it. I now have all of the workings of something that could, with some luck, actually be a novel someday. Which I believe is the purpose of NaNoWriMo anyway, isn’t it? Just because you write 50,000 words in a month doesn’t mean you’re done. There’s editing and re-drafts to do. Adding to sections that were rushed through to get your word count. All of this would have needed to go beyond the one month anyway.
So no, I don’t think I’ll be able to finish NaNoWriMo (unless I can write 29,000 words in two days this weekend. Not bloody likely.) But I am glad that I decided to do it. It was a good push. It was a fun goal to try and reach. It was a great starting point.
Lastly, since this is the US Thanksgiving…I’m also a little thankful to be over the idea of trying to keep up with it also. I was posting some of the poetry and pieces I had written over the last few years and nothing new because I wanted to keep my post a day streak up. I’m going for a full year of posting every day. I missed sitting down and being struck by something and pulled to write about it.
I’m going to continue writing my story on the weekends but I’m also going to give myself breaks to write poetry and prose and anything else that inspires me instead of pushing it out of my head because of daily word counts.
Onward and upward, creativity.