i won’t always be there

Is it safe to say that I love you still after all of these months?
Your name never really left the tip of my tongue.

You showed up like a fresh bed of snow when the forecast was clear.
It’s funny how I missed the cold.

I’m sorry, I’m just excited.
When someone special goes away and they aren’t supposed to come back,
it means a little more when they do.

So, yes, I’m excited to see you.

And I may let out a little more than otherwise intended.
The things I try to pull and strings I try to control,
never turn or twist the way I bend them.

Yet everything I do and say is with love inside my heart.
So when you tell me, “anyways,” I fall a bit apart.

I know I push too hard but it’s the only way I know.
Changing never seems to work because I always go,
back to how I really am, it’s all that I can show.
Please stop beating my heart with your dismissive tone.

It’s not a warning or a threat, because with you I never could,
but a heart can only take so many hits before it knows it should,
put on a coating, a hard veneer, that will protect it anywhere,
with a few words carved in it, “I warned I wouldn’t always be there.”