High Maintenance

I don’t always need a lot of love, but I like to know there’s someone out there that can give it when I do.  I can be weak at times.  As much as I love to give there are times when I need a little bit given.

When I hurt it feels like an addict suffering from withdrawal.  I’m sorry, I don’t know how to deal with these feelings.  When a person is good at keeping feelings such as these away for long stretches they aren’t familiar with how to deal with them when they come up again.  I crack and crumble.  I float and drift.  I need my own rock.

I’m not okay.  I will be, but in this instant of time I’m not okay.

Your words do more damage than you know.  They’re like an army trampling my innocent love of you.  Each boot on a thorny rose crushing the petals and smearing them in the soil.  The words keep marching.

I’ll be okay because I always am.  I’ve learned to come out of it but I never heal.  The wounds stay fresh and if they had a physical manifestation I’d have lost so many limbs because of you.  That’s the problem being such a light soul, another’s weight is often too heavy.  We can’t resist for trying though.  It’s our nature to try.

So, love me.  If only for a minute.  You don’t realize how far a dandelion can float on a single breath of air.

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