“You’re An Asshole,” he said while looking in the mirror.

I often wonder what the hell is the matter with me.  Floating through girls as if they were water.  Needing to feel their wet lips against my dry mouth and once my thirst is quenched I’m on my way.  Water is wet and there is a ton of it out there, and so the asshole goes.

Pretty girls with pretty smiles all falling in on their own.  Goofy charm notwithstanding.

It isn’t an aim to pierce their heart.  To take my words and kiss them down each woman’s thighs until she wraps her legs around my neck.  If only she knew where we’d be in a few days, weeks or months.  She might be keen snap it.
I think I linger too long above her heart though.  Again, not intentional.  It’s just where my magnet is pulled.

Now the mirror is talking back to me.  Calling me names and I’m trying to reason with it.

“It was there.  I don’t know what happened,” as if I lost a pass to the parking garage and now have to pay the full day’s rate.

The other me in the mirror isn’t having any of it.
You can’t lie to yourself, no matter how long you’d like to believe.

I wonder if it’s just the way I am, never satisfied, and if that is something I can ever get over.  Is it possible to comprehend a way that you aren’t?  I haven’t been able to find it yet.

So these girls, they come.  They come and they don’t intend to stay but it’s got a nice smell.  The couch is comfortable.  The company is pleasant.  Then a thing or two triggers a smile.  That smile turns into a kiss and that kiss has their body grinding layers of skin against each other.  Funny how that happens.
Its heated.  The flame is hot.  Sometimes red, sometimes orange.  And I don’t know if I know why it goes away or not.  It’s often a little thing that makes me think and wonder.  It puts doubt in my head and doubt is a terrible infestation to invade your mind.  The entire structure can come crashing down.

Then she’ll be gone.  It’s probably for the best.  Better to love hard and fast then drag out something that was never going to last anyway.  But then I think to that girl.  The one who is still there just out of my reach.  Who I thought would never come back and did.  Not in a way with her thighs around my neck, but we’ve shared smiles.
She’s never waned, not once.  I wonder about that though.  Is it because I’m always chasing her?  If I caught her would it be just the same?  I’d like to think not but constantly questioning is the name of the game.  Who wants to know anything for sure anyway?

Excerpt From Nothing: Squeeze

Her lips were like velvet on my skin.  They grazed softly along the back of my jaw while making their way to my ear.  She teased better than a fourth grade bully.  Instead of speaking words in a whispered tone she let out a long, slow exhale of her heated breath.  It spiraled down and tickled the hairs on the back of my neck.  I could feel her smile as I shivered.

“You’re gonna get it,” I muttered with my eyes closed and my body weak.
“Am I?”  She responded before suckling my earlobe into her mouth.

I dropped my mouth open and let out an oh-my-god groan.  My hands grasped her ribs, high up under her arms and dug in.  My eyes opened to attention and I turned my head towards her, breaking the suckle on my earlobe and she pulled back to look down at me.

“Something wrong?”  She asked coyly.

I didn’t answer, at least not with words.  I merely stared at her for a few seconds.  Her nearly naked body as she sat on top of me.  Her dark hair having tumbled down to her shoulders.  The way her smile was daring me to do something back to her as if this was all a ruse to push me into action.
She did that a lot.  Fucking with my need to always be right or simply just pressing buttons to see what reaction she’ll get.  I loved it.  I’ve only known her a few weeks but she seems to do everything perfect.  Leaving me questioning her motives but knowing they are only with good intentions.  Pausing with a smile and her smiling back, knowing she’s hooked me again and I don’t even care.
So I fall for it, again.  I take a gaze at her sexuality and spin her in a growling thump onto her back.  Flipping our positions and her head on the pillow and my body between her legs.  My lips find her ear now.  The vibrations in my voice sound like hunger.  They shake down through her ear as I speak.

“Lock your legs around my waist.  Squeeze.  Don’t stop.  Not until I’m begging for mercy.  Use your thighs like a walnut cracker.”

She then turned her head into mine like I did to her moments earlier.  We looked in each others eyes and she smiled her sly grin again as I felt her legs rising.  She mouthed the words, “kiss me,” as her ankles hooked together around my back.  As our lips met in a kiss I felt her thighs tighten firmly and smiled against her mouth.
It was a cute attempt.  I don’t know if she wasn’t going full on by choice or if she thought she was going to get me to break fairly easy.  Either way, when my lips needed a moment to breathe I opened my eyes and smiled against her kiss, not wanting to fully part from the velvet.

“I sure hope that isn’t all you’ve got, blue,” smiling at her because I can’t ever stop and then flowing right into a movie quote in a horrible impersonation of Jack Nicholson.

” Please tell me you have something more, Lieutenant.  These two marines are on trial for their lives.  Please tell me that their lawyer hasn’t pinned their hopes to a phone bill.”

Grinning at her afterwards, wondering if she gets the reference.  Looking into her eyes to see if she’s trying to place it or just fucking with me again.  Waiting a few seconds and then turning my attention to her hands.  Finding each of them and lacing my fingers with hers, pinning them to the bed and giving my hips a thrust into her.

“Excuse Me.  I didn’t dismiss you,” she quickly says as I push against her body.

“I beg your pardon?”  I look back into her face with another smile.

“I’m not finished my examination.  Sit down.”
Upon the last word falling off of her lips and the blue in her eyes tightening on the blue in mine I can feel the force of her thighs squeezing me.  Her fingers tightening their grip on my hands in return.  Her lip being bitten as either a form of enticement for me or concentration and force for herself.  It might be a little bit of both actually.  Then, a thrust upwards of her hips into mine and a slight twist and jerk.  My back caving for half of a second and dropping down into her.  Her movement pulling a groan from my throat and my entire body quaking.

She continues to squeeze.  We keep eye contact.  She’s winning.  My eyes are rolling into the back of my head until a rush of heat burns through my veins.  She adds a grunting moan to her squeeze and twists the other direction.  The movements push everything right into place.  My eyes flare into hers.  My hands squeeze back against hers and press down into the bed.  She squeezes harder but all it does is move me into her with more strength.
She tries.  On and on she tries to regain her edge.  Lifting herself almost right up against me and lighting the muscles from her knees to her stomach on fire.  I watch as her mouth drops open in one last attempt to make me collapse into her.
She’s cutting off my breathing.  Each suck for air being depleted more and more.  Neither of us giving in until the moment where we can’t go any further and she drops to the bed.
The feeling of her legs loosening has me following her.  My body suddenly feeling less comfortable.  In need of those legs tightly around me.  Naked without them.  My lips kissing hers hungrily as she lay there, her legs now like jelly and unable to move without effort.

I kiss her, again and again.  She’s panting along with my kisses.  Our breath cascading along each others skin.  Her face sweating and she looks up at me, eyes barely open and she smiles.  I smile back at her and finish the movie reference.

“What do you want to discuss now, my favorite color?”

A wide smile paints across her face and I dive into it, kissing and rolling next to her on the bed.  Enveloping each other in our arms and carrying on like the day doesn’t have to continue outside of this room.

Excerpt From Nothing: Pencil Skirt

I’d love to lay back and enjoy you. Sit here and watch you come in the room and kind of stand there with your hand on your hip as its cocked. Smiling at you from the bed. Your eye brow raised. Lois Lane eye roll at the ready.

“Hey babe,” I’d say toyingly. That annoying charm I’m infamous for. The kind of thing that makes you want to slap me and kiss me, just always unsure which you want to do first.

“Hey,” you reply. Short and sweet. A twang in your voice but not the usual southern charm that drips from your lips but a stretch of the word because it’s saying more than just what’s on its face. It’s asking what the fuck I’m doing. It’s asking what I want. It’s asking so many questions all while telling me to get that smirk off of my face and do something useful like rub your feet because these heels are fucking killer.

“Traffic?”

“No, why?”

“Oh, no reason. You’re usually home by now. Took your time then?”

Pushing it. I’m always pushing it. Often over the line and making the sirens blare and red lights flash. Not quite enough to release the hounds but your fingers is hovering over the button.

“Didn’t think I had much to rush for, turns out I was right.”

You knew how to smack the smug off of my face with words better than most. You never just took it. Why would you? You were good at giving it yourself. That’s why whenever you gave it back I always smiled wider.

“Take off your panties.”

“Ugh, do you have to use that word?”

“What word?”

“Pa-panties,” you shivered and cringed.

“Yeah. You didn’t show me what you were wearing so I don’t know if they’re a thong, boy shorts, hipsters, whatever. So I have to use the generic term. Panties. Take them off. I want to watch. Be my personal stripper.”

You glared. How dare I ask you for such a thing. You were just at work all day and I’ve been lounging in pajamas for hours. How dare I. But that look on your face danced from skeptical and glowering to a sly grin. You had a long day, yeah. But what better way to end it then with some fun.

You obliged. Your obliged perfectly. Your hips wiggled as your fingers hiked your pencil skirt up your thighs. The exposed skin was enough to draw a grown from my lips and cause me to sit up against the backboard of the bed. Your hands slipped under the fabric of the skirt and tugged at the thin, flimsy fabric covering your ass. The panties pulled down below your skirt and dragging down your thighs. They drop helplessly to the floor and you step out of them and pick them up.

“Thong,” you say as you throw them at me.

The throw only meant to distract me as you follow them in a rush. Crashing into me with a kiss on the bed, the panties a lost distraction in the sheets between us now. Our hands wandering wildly. Our lips greeting each other hungrily. Your blouse another casualty of war. Buttons being pulled and stretched to their limit. Your perfectly done hair this morning now a whipping mess falling down onto me as you make my face disappear in it.

We enjoy each other fully. We take each others body completely. I am deep in you and you are all over me. We don’t stop until we can’t take it anymore. All I need for you to do is walk in the room and I’m yours. I don’t want it any other way.

Excerpt From Nothing: The Girl

She loved him, but from a distance because she couldn’t place his intentions.  His actions seemed in the right place.  He was always there for her and he tried to make her happy.  He even made her smile a genuine smile from time to time and that surprised her.  But no matter how many times he showed up at her door asking to join him on a random adventure she was hesitant in letting herself go with him fully.  There was something holding her back, yet she had wasn’t sure what it was.
He was kind.  He was smart.  There was a depth to him that other people didn’t seem to get, or at least they didn’t try enough to see it.  Though the thing that drew her back to him every time she tried to convince herself to leave was that he wrote for her.  Not tepid poetry or self indulgent erotica, but he wrote her a story where she was the main character.  Men have tried to write for her before, that was not unique, but he wrote thoughtful adventures that showed he knew her.

“That made me cry, but I cry about everything,” she said as she dabbed her lower eyelid with the side of her finger.
He had written her a short story, only a few hundred words.  It was about a girl who lost her smile and a boy who devoted his life to help her find it.  The story was sweet and she didn’t really know why it brought tears to her eyes, at least on the surface.  Deep in her subconscious she knew though.
She knew that he knew her better than she thought.  He might even know her better than he realized.  Her entire adult life she had been sad.  It wasn’t a depression, but a sadness that hung over her like overcast skies.  The sadness rarely broke and when it did only a few rays of sunshine could sneak through.  Yet, with his words, he managed to push the clouds far enough apart so she could see the blue sky behind them.

He didn’t know what to say to that.  Something should be said but the only words that came to mind were empty or superfluous.  That was his odd curse, he could write a storm about a girl he fancied but when it came to say the words to her face he clammed up.  The only thing he wanted to do was to make her smile, and even though this was the opposite of that he felt he still hit his mark.

The silence was awkward, so she did one of the only two things she knew how in an awkward moment, she kissed him.  (The other was to say something incredibly inappropriate and either cause a laugh or enough awkward silence that they both would leave).  She leaned her body forward and pressed her full lips against his.  He was caught off guard but quickly came to attention and reached out to rest his hands on her hips and pull her close.
They didn’t feel the need for a torrid, tongue-involved kiss.  Her lips being pressed to his was plenty special for a first kiss.  Something sweet and innocent, as was his story for her and was how he saw her behind the quiet facade.
When the kiss ended and they looked into each others eyes she finally realized why she was hesitant with him.  She knew why she couldn’t give in and why she enjoyed him from arms length.  It wasn’t because she didn’t trust him.  Quite the opposite really.  She didn’t trust herself.  She didn’t believe that she was worthy of something that might be special.  With that self doubt came a crushing weight of pain that she couldn’t deal with when it ended.  Not if, but when it ended.
If it wasn’t him who grew tired of her or cheated on her or lied to her, then it would be her that did it to him.  She didn’t want to hurt him and wouldn’t let him hurt her.  Love wasn’t something she felt she deserved so she locked herself up and hid her smile from herself.  They’d go searching for it for eternity when it was behind her the entire time.