Worse than missing you

There are plenty of bad things in the world.  Horrible things that dwarf any kind of silly, minuscule problem that most people deal with on a daily basis, but sometimes that doesn’t matter.  Sometimes there is only the problem in front of you and the feelings inside of you that you’re experiencing.  So, right now, deep inside of me, the worst thing in the world I can think of is living the rest of my life and never knowing what it feels like to kiss your lips.

How time flies

I don’t like the way you make me feel.

I don’t like the way I am when you’re around.

I don’t like how I act because of what you say.

I don’t like what I think when you talk.

I don’t like what I’m becoming because of the way you’ve treated me for so long.

I don’t like who I am when I’m with you.

I don’t know what to do

but I do know

it’s been a long time

since I liked anything to do with you.

When you have no thoughts for thinking

Let’s make this about a girl.

What better motivation is there than the kind of girl that takes over your mind and won’t let it go?  It wraps around her wrist and swings along with her walk, taking you for the ride as long as you can hold on.  Everything she does is noteworthy and you don’t have to strain to find magnificence in the way she bats her eyes or hums a tune.

She doesn’t need you to force it, either.  It’s natural.  It’s not something she tries to do or you try to do, it just happens.
It happens when you see her face for the first time in the morning.  It happens when you’re missing her at night.  It happens when her legs are wrapped around your waist and your lips are finding new ways to press against her skin.  There is nothing unnatural about the way you fit with the girl.  You’re a circle spinning on top of a circle.

You can dance.  You can sing.  You can do things you never thought you could before, and even if you can’t do them well you lose the fear of looking like a fool.
Why?
Because she doesn’t care.  All you need is her smile and when she points it at you all of the dumb things you’ve done are just there for laughter and dammit if he doesn’t have the best laugh around.

Let’s make her everything.
It’s dangerous and rarely ends well but while you’re in it, its worth it.
She’s worth it.

 

I Can See Through

There’s such a population in the world that we can’t comprehend it.
A billion is enough to run the mind.
How about 7?
But how many of those billions can do what they really want to do?
How many are drones, like me, wasting time to waste time.

But I can see through it all
If only I could touch it

Rinse, repeat and rinse again.
Finding little joys in life to see the tunnel through the end.
Like me?
Live for the weekend and die through the week.
It’s not possible for everyone to live their happy life.

But I can see through it all
If only I could reach it

Do you even know what you’d do if you could do what you say you’d do?
Maybe that’s the problem that a lot of those billions face.
They don’t know which way they want to face.
Not like me.
I know how to be in that happy living space.

Because I can see through it all
If only I could mean it.

I can see through it all to the things I want to do.
For that happy ever after thing that we grow up with.
The meaning of making every moment worth a damn.
And not just wasting it.
Like me.

Because I can see through it all
but that’s all I ever do.

Tell Me

Tell me all the things I’ve lost because of doubt.

Tell me about the majesty and wondrous amount

of experiences I’ve lost and went without

simply because I went along the safe and easy route.

Tell me of my insecurities that caused worlds to slip by

Tell me of the flowers and colors not yet known to my eyes

and the hues of clouds above that float in different skies

simply because I’d rather not risk the safety in my life.

Tell me of tastes and sounds that I’ll never have, nor hear.

Tell me how the smells get sweeter the closer that you near

and the tastes, they taste, like tastes of fantasies my dear

simply because I could not overcome my fears.

Tell me of a life that I’ll never get to see played out

Tell me of the praise I’ll never get to savor as they shout

and each and every fan that I’ll never know about

simply because I wasted my life wallowing in doubt.

Hedonist

I’m indulging in a bit of everything at the moment.  I’ve got my fingers sticky in the sugary sweets of many different candy bags.  I’m even licking my fingertips after each plunge and pulling the salt and sweet together from my skin.  Don’t you wish you could be free like me?  Doesn’t it look fun?

 

 

Earth

I went to sleep last night and woke up in the future.

I went to sleep last night when I was in the past.

And in the future everything we know is different.

In the future, the past we know wasn’t at all the same.

I don’t know how long I slept to wake up in the future.

But signs I see of weathering tells me it was quite a while.

The thing, you see, is that you can’t, or at least I couldn’t find

hints of life, communities or any proof that we were still alive.

The air was thick and the ground was bare,

no grass, no green, no trees.

There were no animals, there were no people.

Just emptiness as far as I could see.

I wondered how long life lived and when we went extinct.

I worried about my own life too and if I was here to stay.

We destroyed the planet and we sacrificed the future,

we didn’t listen to what science, or nature had to say.

Rich old men who would die before any of this came to be

didn’t believe, or didn’t care about, the youth, or you, or me.

They didn’t care about green grass or the blueness of the sky.

They didn’t care about pollutants infecting sea to shining sea.

I fell asleep in these horrors of the future,

laid my head down to cry.

I was shocked when I woke up in the past

and learned I had a second chance to try.

To try and convince the people.

To turn the fortune of our desolate fate.

To treat our planet better

before it’s too late.

Even with my vision

of a future dead and bare

some people can’t be convinced

what it means to have clean water, land and air.

All I can do is heed myself

my children, and my space.

If there are still people who try

we may still save this place.

 

 

Wander

I want the night.  I want the unknown.  I want the mystery.

I don’t want to know whats coming next, as long as I know its something different.  A twist.  A curve.  An unkempt path.

Let the brush and branches be in my way.  Let me move over rocks and logs.  My steps won’t be as reckless as the road I’ll walk.

Give it all to me and I’ll be happy as long as I’m not spinning in this chair looking at these four walls.  If the trees and the sky have different faces, I’ll smile.  If the night never sounds familiar again, I’ll keep walking.

I want to experience each morning, this and every other.