Review: King of Monster Jams

It’s been a while since I wrote something completely dumb and stupid so I figured why not review a movie just saw this weekend.  That’ll be all kinds of dumb and stupid.

So yeah, please follow the READ MORE tag to READ MORE (see: list) about GODZILLA:  KING OF LOUD THINGS!

Read More »

Review: Not Spiderman

I like going to the movies!

So what better way to reminisce going to the movies than by writing about your movie going experience!  Huzzah!  That’s enough exclamation points!  One more!  YES!

So I wasn’t sure about this movie for a while now.  Usually whenever you read rumblings of it having trouble you kind of shouldn’t expect much.  Not that it had production issues just the trailer was very underwhelming.  It didn’t turn out to be an R-rated movie which the character was pretty much designed.  And, I dunno, I just don’t trust Sony to be able to pull off doing a Marvel movie on their own.

So, without…oh…screw you.  Here’s my review of…Venom.

Read More »

Review: The One Ugly Mother F*@%!&

I SAW A MOVIE!  You know what that means?
That’s right!  A post nobody will read!  WOO HOO!

Not that I expect anyone to read my ramblings.  I just like taking jabs at myself because self deprecation is sexy.

So I went to go see a movie on Saturday night and I know its a few weeks after it first came out and like NOBODY is really interested in a review about it now but that’s like…totally the time I would write something about it then!

So, without further adieu (except, you know, all the adieu that is to follow before the actual content is there) I bring to you my review of….

The Predator!

(Follow the “read more” tag because I don’t know, some people aren’t that bright (me) and don’t always click the read more tags (me) to continue reading (me).

Read More »

Review: To All The Peter Kavinsky’s

I watched three movies this weekend.  Wait…when did I decide to post this?  On….Tuesday.  Okay good then never mind, I was on the right track.
I watched three movies this weekend, one I’ve already seen and two that I haven’t.  One came out in May….or at the beginning of June.  Either way its old so I’m not gonna go over it again.  It was aight, funny, same old same old (DP2).  The other one just came our like….a week ago.

And here is my completely pointless review of…

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before

YAY!

Read More »

Review: Crazy Rich, Funny, Hot, Cool Asians

I just saw a movie so you know what that means?  It’s review time!  Cue Obnoxious Horn Sound.

I would be the most obnoxious vlogger, like, ever.  Literally every transition would be that sound.  If I had a mouse for my lap top I would totally highlight every period in this post and make it a link to that horn sound.  The insanity of it is that I know nobody would click all of them and I would just be doing it for the Andy Kaufman effect.

For all of you long time listeners you’re well aware that my reviews aren’t much reviews but me just like- doing this.  So for you new people (ten long minutes of laughing at the idea of new people coming and reading this garbage) I am sorry that you found your way here and are being held hostage and forced to read this, also, welcome to my review of the movie Crazy, Rich Asians!

Please click the “Read More” jump button to like…you know…read more beyond the jump.

Read More »

Review: Young Hot Guys Try To Bang Young Hot Girl, And Succeed!

Well, that’s the jist of it anyways.  There is also singing.  There is also a theater full of older women in groups (is there a term for a group of older women?)…(oh, apparently the proper term is “bevy of women.”) and younger women on dates with their boyfriends.

Side note: There was a double date sitting in front of us.  They were either early 20s or late teens and the guy had his girlfriend as his lock screen.  ISN’T THAT CUTE?!

So, without further adieu (if I knew the greek word for adieu I’d use it because when in…Greece…shut up), here is my Review for Mamma Mia: I Keep Spelling It With One M.

Read More »

Review: I love Paul Rudd

Review time!  I know, your FAVORITE!

Okay like so my tl;dnr version:

Ant Man is awesome.  Paul Rudd is hilarious.  Michael Pena is hilarious.  Evangeline Lilly is a goddess.  The evil lady girl stuck in buffering land was weirdly erotic with her sexy British accent thing (looks up to see where she’s from) Woo hoo!  She’s British!  And I love Randall Park as the goofy dorky guy he plays in most things.  He’s perfect.  Ant Man go big.  Ant Man gets small.  Wasp kicks everyones butt.  Creepy weirdo sexy lady fades in and out.  Old man scowls.  Other old man scowls.  Why is Morpheus in this?  DAMN YOU THANOS!

Read More »

Review: You’re it!

Because I’m dumb and like to do dumb things I’ve decided to make this review thing a normal…thing.  What do you mean I said that already?  Oh, because I said that already.  Right.

Yeah but like, this is real now because I wrote the word “Review” with a colon after it.  I even made another category even though I don’t know how categories actually work.  This is like making something instagram official.  Big news.

Anyways, I saw this movie and like…figured why not.  This is my review of the movie…

Tag

Read More »

Review: Star Wars Tattoo! (not what you think)

In the third installment of my review series of reviewing things nobody asked for and I’m completely not qualified in reviewing: The Nova Scotia Royal Tattoo.  After looking it up because I was unsure what it was actually called I should probably call it by its real name:

The Royal Nova Scotia International Tattoo

Read More »