Please don’t go searching if I get lost,
I’ve sought this path to find myself astray.
I follow no road, my map is tossed,
I’m heading to nowhere except away.
Nothing is the purpose which I seek,
The journey towards it is all I want.
Each stop and stay won’t be so bleak,
Every time I sleep my mind you’ll haunt.
Mornings will find me more restless than before,
But passing time will dull and numb.
Your lips won’t sting your touch won’t sore,
Yours eyes won’t glow so fearsome.
And if you happen upon me one day,
All I ask is you don’t speak and let me on my way.
Can the mind be spotless if it once was unclean?
Tattered with memories, a dull against the sheen.
Tears in the fabric and divots in the grass
Eternity mocking me, sunshine never lasts.
Love will always wound in a garish and ugly way,
Affected hearts as a marionette in uncommon displays.
Though unwelcome and uninvited pain pours itself a drink
It lingers in the background and forces us to think.
Memories unrelenting, they spin and spin and spin
Attached to my instrument, chords plucking from within.
As the strings go silent bringing calm to crashing waves
Unable to forget, what was never asked but still she gave.
Eloisa, Clementine and the girl all chose to quit,
but Abelard, Joel and I cannot as easily forget.
All of the women I’ve known and loved,
some of them intimately and others not,
have given me something in spite of,
my habit of causing relationships to rot.
A few have shown me I need caution and fear.
Too friendly, too forward, too loving and kind.
Their words to watch whenever they’re near.
Their motives suspicious and deceitful towards mine.
Still some I have loved with my entire heart,
My face surprised each time with a smack.
I’d do it again in a second and don’t regret a single part,
even if the important ones never did love back.
These women I’ll always remember and love no matter how sore
because each has changed me to something better than I was before.