“Close your eyes for a moment and listen. Stop thinking, stop questioning and do it. I’ll wait.”
She hated giving in but she decided to concede for a moment.
“You better not do anything to me or touch me or try to scare me. I’ll fucking sock you one, hard.”
“Shh. Close your eyes.”
I waited ten seconds for her to settle before speaking again.
“Now don’t say a word and try to move as little as possible until I tell you I’m done.”
I was only a foot away from her. We were sitting in the car in the back of the parking lot at the grocery store. It was late and there weren’t many people around. The car was off and there was no sound except the occasional car zooming by on the highway that ran next to the parking lot.
“You’re you and I’m me and we’ve got this thing between us. We also have our own things going on separately and we can’t spend every moment we want to with each other.”
My voice was soft. I had to concentrate to keep it as monotone and straight as possible. It often fluctuates to eccentric when I’m the only one talking, as if I forgot how to speak as if I were a normal person. I maintained it now as well as I ever had before.
“So I want you to try and imagine, without guilt or wariness, that it was just us in another plane of existence. Somewhere that we could be we and nothing else was in our way. No schedules or interruptions. It was just like this, the two of us, only closer.”
A transport trucked whizzed by and the car rocked back and forth in its wake. We both remained still.
“I want you to think of this other world us and imagine yourself there in other world you. I want you to think of tonight in the stillness of the night in a quiet house with all but one tiny desk light on to peek through the room. It’s just us there laying on the couch together enjoying the sounds of each others breathing. My hands are in your hair and your making soft cooing sounds every few minutes.”
I grazed my finger tip along the side of her neck and around the back of it. Her held tilted and a soft sound was muffled by her closed lips.
“It’s Christmas Eve and it’s just us. The night is creeping on and we’re stretching it out as far as it will go. We’ll eventually slip away to the bedroom and stick our bodies together as if they were made of glue but not before our eyes got heavy.”
My fingertips slipped through her dark hair and let it cascade downward out of my hand.
“When we woke up the next morning we’d let the day slip away. Christmas morning would be Christmas afternoon before we decided to get out of bed and join the world. We’d be able to do anything. Presents. Slip into the car for a drive anywhere just to enjoy the lonely roads together. It was as if the world fell asleep and forgot to wake up with us and we were going to take advantage of it.”
I wasn’t looking at you. I was speaking down your body. I knew if I was speaking at you and looking at you that it wouldn’t last long enough because you’d tell me to stop. Now I was almost done.
“So tonight and tomorrow when you’re with you and I’m with me remember to close your eyes and catch a flash of us. That’s where we can be together when we can’t be together. I hope you can make it. Alright, I’m done.”
Then I leaned in and kissed her on the shoulder and stopped talking.