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Excerpt From Nothing: A Little Bit Of Nothing

Mud splattered all along her ankles and shins.  Her dress peppered with the dried muck as well as she stands there with her shoulders slumped and her neck looking like it can barely hold the weight of her head due to the entirety of her exhaustion.  She smile on her face is still bright.  Brighter than the sun even as she looks down the hill.  The walk was long and crossed patches of mud that could swallow a herd of cows.  The sun beat down like a desert but she continued to smile in the fresh air and the outdoors.  Her exhaustion was sought and she found it and hugged it with all of her might.  To finish off her day she collapsed in the cutest fashion imaginable.  She just dropped under a tree.  Splayed out like a chalk sketch of a murder victim that her adventure claimed.  The shade covering her sun and heat doused body and the sweat started to cool in the breeze.  But the smile remained.  The smile wouldn’t fade.  It was tattooed on her face and wasn’t going to drop simply because her adventure was over.

Because I Think I Love You

Of all of the things that can happen in the world
Falling in love is the best and the worst
If you don’t know whether you are in love or not, you aren’t
but you can be
If you feel like you are in the midst of love, you are
but you may not be
And in this quandary of yes and no is where I find myself with you
with the maybes floating like dandelions in the summer
Is it possible to love someone you don’t really know?
Yes, because I love you
I love how you use only just enough words
Conciseness dominating the verbose
Your silence hiding thought, depth and suspense
Holding its next reveal with anticipation
I love your quiet elegance
Draped seemingly without care but always impeccable
I love you, or I think I do love you
Because you never leave my mind for long
A stretch of time only reaches so far and turn the leaves color over so often
Before I think of you and smile as it were yesterday that I thought these thoughts last
Do I love you still then?  Or did I ever?
Can you love someone you never did but only realize it after?
These cravings never known until well beyond the time they should have been felt
This appetite now present when the hunger should have been long ago
Or were they known all along but hidden in the lulls
And when they rise back like a heat wave unable to remember a time without the humidity
The only way to cool myself is at your lips
The only breeze coming from your words
Do you love someone if you don’t love them all the time?
Every second of every day you’ve known them.
I believe its possible because I have loved you
And then I haven’t until I have loved you again
And even though you will never love me and my love for you will never be more than an idea I think I might have
I will love you every time I see you and I will remember it as if it never left

Way Back: That Thing You Do

Do you know that thing that you do?
That thing with your mouth.
When you’re looking at something that you really want.
I’ve noticed it. I’ve noticed a lot but this in particular.
That thing where your lips part and you slowly inhale.
Then they close again tight.
It controls your entire upper body.
Your eyes close and your head leans back.
Your shoulders lift.
I want to be the thing that makes you do that.

Last Cigarette Of The Night

I wrote this last year after perusing tumblr.  I saw a sign or note or something that read Last Cigarette Of The Night and an image of a woman sitting at her window smoking came to me.  Then a story filled in after and I wrote it in probably 20 minutes.  It’s one of my favorite things I’ve ever come up with.

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More Than Living

I wrote the poem below about 11 months ago.  I was thinking about off-the-grid living.  I do that from time to time and romanticize it.  In the winter I imagine hiding away in a cabin deep in the woods.  Buried by snow and unable to come out until it melts by spring’s kiss.  In the summer I think of the beach, the ocean.  Living next to it’s lullaby of crashing waves.  All until the fall’s crisp whispers pull me back to real life.  The only thing I’d require in either scenario is someone to make me wish the season would never end.

 

I would like to find a home by the water

Nothing of any size or grandeur.

Something small,

the size of a kitchen

Something simple,

a table, two chairs and a bed.

The smaller the space the closer you are to me

The closer you are the more alive I feel.

When I wake I hear the waves and

See the sun glinting off the ocean’s blue

Or I can merely lie close and hear your slumbering breaths

And watch the dawn on your face as it rises

Or the stars in your eyes before you fall asleep.

We’ll have no windows

so we’ll have to huddle close

And trap the heat of our bodies

under layered covers.

We’ll have no luxuries

except each others taste and touch

I’ll recall the way your body moves

And chant that spell each night.

Serial Lit: The Origins Of Me Love For Your Smirk – Part 2

I found the second part of this story I had written.  It was years ago.  Around ten years ago I’m pretty sure.  It was two pages written in pen, front and back.  I don’t think I really had any direction I was going with this aside from a love triangle.  It’s a little trivial without much depth but I do remember I wrote it on my 30 minute breaks and I usually have my more profound ideas when I can type them out.  Anyways, enough bashing it before anyone reads it.

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Way Back #4: Art for Arts Sake

I wrote this five and a half years ago.  I was trying to be sly and clever and think I got a little wordy and pretentious.  It kind of holds up though.  I liked it enough to save it all this time.

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Comfort

I wrote this last year sitting in the parking lot of the school waiting to pick up my daughter.  We had run over our data plan so scrolling twitter or reddit wasn’t an option.  Instead of staring out at nothingness or listening to vapid conversations that I had no interest in I decided to sit in my car and do a little writing.

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Way Back #3

This one’s about a girl.  Go figure.  Even 10 years ago I was still pining.

 

How bad do you want me to see your smile
You don’t even have to ask
Just promise not to take it away.
Of all that is forgotten
your lips perched in a smirk wont be
flower in your hair
draped in white
enchanted
later, all eyes on you
a question
an answer
an offer rejected
an ego denied
a mistake made
how do you apologize
for something you knew you couldn’t do
how do you fix something
when you’re not sure how it broke
or if it ever worked right at all

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