How long can you rebound?

“Is this just a rebound then?”  She asked me.

“Of course not,” I replied instinctively, not even understanding how I was answering.

I’ve never been in such a place before, though.

Without someone who I think of so much.

Who I haven’t had for months, closer to a year than not.

I’ve never rebounded before, how long can it last?

How long can you think of someone you don’t have before you stop?

I read her notes to me with an aching smile.

I see her hand written doodles in the margins and try not to wince.

I write her again but send it to someone else begging them to tell me to stop.

The ball bounces and someone else picks it up but I can’t take my eyes off the net.

What happens at the one year anniversary of that moment?  Or the other one?

Am I still going to be standing there with my hand in the air looking at the missed shot?

How long is this going to last?

Do I even want it to end?

Ending means not thinking of her anymore.

She would be out of my mind and I could move on to someone else or at least enjoy nothing.

I don’t know if I want that though.

I’d rather continue that ache and remember her then feel nothing.

But what does that say about the rebound?

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