The Past Won’t Die

I know I’m messing, have messed this up.
I’ve ruined this.
and the “but you’re not her” is what its all about really.
and you don’t deserve that

I just keep thinking that it’s not fair to you that I can’t stop getting her out of my head
I could go on with you and have as an amazing time as I have been
but then its just her that keeps seeping in and until I can make that stop I feel like its wrong
its wrong to make another person have to deal with that.
you don’t deserve that

And then it all becomes true
you kept saying “forever doesn’t last forever”
and I feel even shittier because you were right all along.
You were right in saying everything.
and I don’t want to draw this out and fuck with your emotions anymore.
because I’ve already done this enough
and you don’t deserve that

I am happy with you and you are amazing
I’m this shitty thing that can’t stop focusing on something he fucked up about a year ago.
and the repercussions are never ending, it seems.
I’m dragging you into it and should have just stayed in a cave.
you don’t deserve this.

I’m sorry
I’ll always be sorry
I gave you all of me and never regretted a single second of it
and I’m sorry that I can’t just say what I should be saying
theres something wrong with me
and I don’t deserve you.

I’m sorry.

4 thoughts on “The Past Won’t Die

  1. I’m one of the three in this scenario and watching it, and feeling it and hearing about it always makes my stomach turn. We are who we are though, our attractions are the same.

    Lovely clear expression of a sensitive situation

    Liked by 1 person

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